“One of the brain’s major learning tasks is to organize the confusing array of sensory stimuli that start bombarding the infant at birth. For this, children need an environment over which they feel some control.”   Endangered Minds – Jane Healy

Mother-to-be Danielle with Elliott. Photo courtesy of Kristin Sarna

My third grandchild is due in a few weeks; this is the first child for my son Elliott and his wife Danielle. Anyone who has experienced the transition from couplehood to parenthood will tell them, “Once that baby arrives your lives will never be the same”. I would add; once that baby arrives your home will never be the same either. To some this might mean your home becomes chaos and mayhem but I don’t think this has to be the case. In the next couple of paragraphs I want to share 5 ways that you can make your home a healthier place for your children.

As an interior designer,  I have seen homes literally overtaken with kids’ stuff; living rooms, dining rooms, even bathrooms bursting with kids “toys”, accessories and screened gadgets. This is not exclusive to smaller homes, sometimes the larger the home the bigger the problem. Often our clients tell us that family and friends gave them these things and they don’t want to offend or disappoint them so they suffer with the chaos.  In some families having it is a way of demonstrating love. In others it is believed to show security or affluence.  Often the argument for keeping it is that it holds memories, the child loved it, or they are “saving it” for future children.

In our culture of consumption we are inundated with compelling reasons to believe that children need lots of “stuff” to learn or be entertained. Although I sense a shift, such as this inspiring post from Anna at thishouseisourhome.net. I believe there is still a journey of awareness to travel before we are living in homes that are healthier, calmer places for kids to do the important work of growing up. I would like to share with you a quote from the post on Anna’s blog that really talks to this concept:

“[Our Children] They need compassion, security, respect, Faith and morals to guide them; they need our love. They need our eyes on them as they show their latest skill, our ears open to hear their latest story, our minds and hearts fully present when we sit with them to play, to read, to be. In the end… that is everything they need. ” ~ Anna

So here are five ideas for creating a healthier place for you and your kids

1. Clear out the clutter – let things go.

The single most common thing we hear from our Good Space clients is: “I need more storage”. Followed by:

• “I want my home to be more organized”.
• “I want my home to feel more calm and orderly”.
• “The clutter is driving me crazy”!
• Or my personal favourite – “I just want to hide all this crap”!

It is not a great leap to conclude that if you feel this way so do your kids. Their expression of it might not be as articulate as yours but there is little doubt that they feel it too.

I believe that our attachment to “things” creates emotional clutter out of physical clutter. So I will break it down to organizing 101.

• Do you love it? Then find a place for it and a way to honour it.
• Is it useful to you? Then keep it and create a place for it.
• If you don’t like it, don’t use it, feel guilty about it, keep it because it was “expensive”, keep it out of obligation, (i.e.; “my mother gave it to me”; or the double challenge…. “it was expensive and my mother gave it to me”), acknowledge that it is hard to let “stuff” go.
•  Imagine how much better it will feel with it gone.
• Do whatever you need to do to let it go. Chant, pray, meditate, donate, ask a friend to look after it for you… forever… but let it go.

Take a moment and ask yourself; Are guilt, obligation and attachment to “stuff “what I want to demonstrate to my children?

Idea: Make a game out of sorting and giving away excess toys to people they know or a cause that might excite them. The shoebox program is just one of many that allow kids to give to other kids. Check out this video of children in Madagascar receiving shoeboxes full of Christmas presents.

2. Encourage your children’s natural born generosity.

The essence of giving is that it makes us feel good. A study published by the University of British Columbia in 2012 shows:  “that children are actually happier giving than receiving.”  Do they need more “stuff” for their birthday or any special occasion for that matter?

Idea: Switch gift receiving occasions to gift giving traditions. On special occasions rather than receiving gifts, why not create opportunities for children to give gifts and experience the good feeling that comes from that?

My daughter Tyla and Grandson Ben with this year’s Food Bank donations Ben received in lieu of presents for his birthday.

Since my grandson Ben’s first birthday party, before he knew the difference, my daughter Tyla requested that there be no “gifts” instead she asked guests to bring food for the food bank. The tradition began that the day after his birthday party Ben and his mom take all the “gifts” to the food bank and Ben can see what a difference his birthday makes to others. The added benefits are that their family space isn’t   full of dusty “stuffies” and plastic toys in addition to the lesson in generousity for Ben.

3. Limit the number of choices

Decision overload or decision fatigue is a real thing. The New York Times Magazine published an interesting article n 2011 ‘Do You Suffer From Decision Fatigue?‘. In the article there are numerous studies cited confirming that decision overload can affect the outcome of even the most simple everyday choices. Put simply, we have a limited capacity and energy for making well considered decisions before we start making bad ones through impulsive behavior.  The proof of what it does to adults is pretty compelling; imagine how it might be for children with their natural drive to learn through experience to be surrounded by multitudes of toys, screens and activity options.

Idea: Out of sight is really out of mind. Keep out a limited number of toys or activities, preferably their favourites and put the rest away in a closet or chest. Make it a trade event when it feels like it might be time for a change.

4. Invite Maria Montessori into your home

Everything I learned about keeping my home and four kids organized I learned in preschool, really it was. I discovered the philosophy of Maria Montessori when searching for a preschool program for my kids in the early 1980’s. Her philosophy resonated with me and caused a dramatic shift in my point of view and how I created our home for our children.

Dr. Montessori had a graceful, respectful approach to the environment of children that is timeless, brilliant, inclusive and achievable. She believed in setting up the physical environment of children to encourage their success in all of their activities and endeavors or as she calls it “work”. Her methods include creating a place for everything they use at a level that is easily accessible to them. Training children is the challenging but worthwhile part. The key?  Start early, and remember it is never too late if you are prepared to work a bit harder at it.

A toddler room designed with Montessori principals. Courtesy of www.thekavanaughreport.com

Idea: For small to large kids: install reachable hooks to hang up their own coats and bags and a designated place to put their shoes. For toys and games – create designated, accessible places that when they are done playing or working, can easily be put back where it belongs.

5. Practice saying no – or no thank you.

It is sometimes hard to know the difference between what your child needs and what you want for them, it is complicated to unravel that emotional process. In the her book, ‘The Conscience Parent’, Dr Shefali Tsabary says parents “fall into the trap of using our children to fill some need in ourselves, all the while under the illusion that we are loving, giving of ourselves, and nurturing. “  Saying no to gift givers, to your child and your own inner consumer is a practice.  Like all practices you get better at it the more often you do it.

Idea: Take a genuine mindful pause before you buy something more for your child. Before you accept a “gift” or ask a relative for something for your kids, let a few thoughtful moments pass. Check in on your emotions, reasoning and motivation for the purchase or acceptance of a gift and be clear about the need and benefits to your child, and then decide.

Chicago architecture firm, Design With’s winning submission for the 800 block of Robson Street summer pedestrian walkway.

Cingratulations to Chicago Architecture Firm, Design With , who have won the juried competition for the Summer 2015 pedestrian plaza at the 800 block of Robson Street in Vancouver with their entry ‘Porch Parade’. This marks the first time an international firm has won the competition.

Facing the regal steps of Vancouver’s art gallery, the winning design features a number of brightly coloured, connected porches. We love that the design will be furnished with items obtained from local yard sales and that the porches themselves will be donated to the Vancouver chapter of Habitat for Humanity at summer’s end. The exhibit is meant to showcase how porches sit at the centre of a city and ultimately enhance the connection of the city to people’s personal and leisure lives.

We love this concept and the thoughts that went into it. Front porches are a big part of life in urban places like Chicago and Toronto.  They are another room that you can populate in the summer.  Fostering community, front porches encourage safer neighbourhoods, helping people to get to know each other and watch out for intruders. We excited to see this concept coming to Vancouver and hope to see some of this thinking in neighbourhood planning. Way to go Design With!

Typical Toronto porch where Torontonians like to laze away hot summer days or evenings while chatting with neighbours.

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion is available on Amazon.ca

There is a connection between Pineapple, Lime, Cilantro Margaritas and the The Rosie Project! Let us explain… The Rosie Project is a charming novel with laugh-out loud antics that leave you feeling warm inside. The main character, Don Tilman is a 39 year old genetics professor who is tall and fit with a love of everything routine. After a series of unsuccessful dates he develops a questionaire designed to find the perfect mate. Enter Rosie, everything that Don thinks he doesn’t like is embodied in this strange female that Don can’t help but love spending time with.

In one particularly funny scene, Don finds himself learning how to bartend in order to collect DNA samples (it’s a long story to get to this bit so just trust us and read the book). One of the drinks he mentions is a ‘Pineapple, Cilantro, Lime Margarita’. We loved the sound of that and had to look it up and try it. Apparently it is a recipe that El Gato Negro in New Orleans’ French Quarter is famous for. Check out this fabulous recipe courtesy of ‘CoreyAnn’ on Food.com

Pineapple, Cilantro, Lime Margarita

Pineapple, Cilantro, Lime Margarita

Congrats to Us for winning a Best of Houzz award for 2015. Houzz, a top online platform for remodelling and design, recognizes the best of the bunch by awarding ‘Best of Houzz’ badges on their profiles . We are proud of our badge in Houzz’s ‘Customer Service’ category recognizing our quality reviews and complete commitment to clients. Look how well we take care of you! And btw, that makes us ‘Best of Houzz’ winners for two years in a row! Check out our Houzz profile and designs here.

I have always loved the quote, “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.”  I propose that when it comes to most things, particularly your home design projects, a little information is a dangerous thing.

Recently, Good Space was invited to do a voluntary block of time to offer 10 minute free design consultations at a home and garden type show.

Me (Dwaina Sprague) on Vancouver’s Urban Rush.

The offer intended that this event would give our company exposure to potential clients and the show guests a chance to be face to face with an interior designer to help solve their design and decorating problems. Sort of like Lucy in Charlie Brown only instead of psychiatric help, attendees line up and get design advice, or as I call them “tips”.

Within a few days of this we received a request through our website asking for a couple of hours of consultation – “tips”, no actual design work required. Just tell me a few things “tips” and I will take it from there.  Well that settled it ‐ I took it as a sign – time to speak up and start the conversation to clear up this misconception about what an interior designer can do for you…. spoiler alert…. it does not involve tips.

I want to state loud and clear that you will never, I mean never get what you need to solve your design challenge in a brief consultation with an interior designer or decorator.
Would you defend yourself in court with a few tips from a lawyer or repair your car with a few tips from a mechanic? Whether the consult happens in a big exciting venue or in your home, you will not get what you need. In all likelihood you will start to implement your “tips” and more questions will pop up. Picture the gopher game at Chuckie Cheese, you clobber the gopher with your mallet and a couple more of them stick their heads up. This is really very frustrating for people and their problems do not get solved – they expand.

You may look around your room or rooms and see what you perceive is missing or needed.  Based on your beliefs about what the problems are you formulate your questions and set out to get answers or solutions.  But here is the hitch; your questions are based on your beliefs about the problems, not necessarily on what the problems actually are.  In my experience there is often a deeper story to a client’s dissatisfaction with their home or rooms, and there are most certainly more steps to achieving their desired results than the client anticipates.

When we start working with a client – regardless of the scale of the project we ask numerous questions. We dig, we define and we get to the essence of things.  This process invariably plays out that one question leads to another and another and so on. We search for the right questions before we begin to develop answers or solutions.  In order to be purposeful and effective we have to define the desired outcome, yes, even on a very small project. We do not give answers until we discern what the actual questions are and we make sure the solutions we offer are well stated and documented so the client and or their contractor can implement them successfully and completely.

Creating interiors that are functional and beautiful is a holistic endeavor made up of hundreds of interconnected considerations, decisions and actions.  The process of good design involves a lot more listening and gathering information than giving answers. Regardless of the size of the project, when we offer a little information out of the larger context of the whole project we have done less to serve the client than if we didn’t show up at all.